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For You

Before, during or after separation & divorce, we will support you

When a couple separates, it is not unusual for one person to be further along the road to a new life than the other. One person may have been contemplating the end of the marriage for some time, whilst for the other it is a shock. If you are still adjusting to the end of the relationship, it can feel impossible to think about the future.

A family coach can help you in a place where you feel able to make decisions about what should happen next. This can also enable you to make the most of the various methods of dispute resolution that are available.

Family coaches work with individuals or parents alongside other professionals, including solicitors, and sometimes they will deal directly with children as child consultants. Discussions with a family coach are confidential, but with your permission, they can talk to other involved professionals, such as the solicitors, or the mediator, to help them understand what is causing the difficulty in moving forward. This can assist all concerned to appreciate the difficulties facing the family and to look at what else may be helpful in the process.

You set the agenda for a meeting with a family coach, depending on your needs as an individual, couple or family. For some, one or two meetings with a family coach are enough to help make discussions with their solicitors more productive. Others opt for continuing support throughout the divorce process and until they feel confident and restored to more solid ground.

How can we help?

Our success lies in understanding, evaluating, and problem-solving the dynamics of difficult situations and providing practical, compassionate, constructive and confidential advice and support. This enables you to make effective decisions and take positive actions.

We can help you to find your feet again after what may be some of the greatest changes and challenges you will ever experience. For some, divorce can hold out the possibility of a fresh start, but for most it is a very difficult transition from being an individual who is part of a couple to a solo entity (possibly for the first time in many years); or a parent facing the complete restructure of your family and the need to negotiate a way to work as separated parents in the best interests of your children.

Family and divorce coaching sits in the space between the professional advice of lawyers and the emotional and practical support of friends. It can help to put the right perspective on problems, improve self-esteem and, crucially, aid you in the slow process of recovery once the legal side of things is over. After all, even the best of friends may find their patience wearing thin – or feel a conflict of loyalty.

You may feel that you have been disadvantaged either financially or maybe by the amount of contact/relationship you feel you have been able to have with the children. We understand those feelings and you will, as a result of this process, start to genuinely feel differently about things and you will increasingly want to change the world you are in because you will both start to see that there is a much better way of managing your lives than the chaos you are living in at the moment.

What you need from us is: understanding, engagement, creativity, strength, wisdom, strategic thinking, confrontation, patience, encouragement, humour, courage, and a whole load of other things that have got nothing to do with process or law.

It is more than likely that the reason you can’t move forward is because the conflict is slowing you both down and distracting you from coming to mutually acceptable decisions. But that conflict has self-perpetuating ingredients that don’t have to be there, in fact you are both unknowingly bringing them into your conversations and then to your horror and surprise noticing that your intent to have a calm and friendly conversation ends up with an argument. We’ll see what those ingredients are and we’ll take them out so that you can both make progress and get on with your post separation lives. You will learn new ways of communicating so that your settlement negotiations are not derailed by old communication patterns.

For Individuals
Where there are children involved
So how does it work?

For Individuals

We know it may not feel like it at the moment, but this break-up is not the end of your happiness and you can move on to an even happier and better life. This journey is hard, no two ways about it, but it is also an opportunity to redesign your whole life - just the way you want it. The opportunities are there, you just possibly need some help to see them.

It would be nice ultimately to get to a place where you’re not constantly thinking about this, and you do recognise that the other parent being upset and angry with you isn’t making your life easy either– it would be good if all of that stopped. You would like some peace so that you can get on with your new life without having to worry about what’s going to happen next.

There is change and loss to many aspects of your life during this process; financial, your home, friends and family, your children. It takes time to adjust and get back on your feet. Emotionally it can feel overwhelming to cope with all the changes, particularly if they have been imposed rather than chosen by you. If you initiated the separation or divorce there may be feelings of guilt and difficulty in managing the emotions of your ex-partner, children and family. You need support in this difficult and painful time.

Decisions will need to be made about the immediate situation and plans for the years ahead, at a time when even the smallest decision feels impossible. The dawning reality of being a single person again can feel overwhelming: having to make decisions alone, the inevitable reorganisation of friendships and family with the losses that come as some ‘take sides’, finding a new social life and even the idea of dating again. You may need to reconsider work: maybe changing direction, further training or even going back to work after a long break raising your family.

Using a family coach can prove cost effective, as your lawyers can concentrate on the legal aspects of your case knowing that you are fully supported. You will be able to focus and work efficiently with your lawyer without emotional dynamics clouding your judgement. Anecdotal evidence suggests that having the assistance of a family consultant can cut down on the number of mediation sessions or collaborative meetings needed to reach an agreement.

We can help you by:

  • Identifying and prioritising your concerns
  • Providing emotional support as the you move through the loss, grief and anger of separation.
  • Identifying and offering assistance in containing strong emotions that might interfere with the resolution.
  • Helping with practical issues that may seem overwhelming right now – finding and buying a new house, managing day-to-day finances, paying bills, working out budgets.
  • Identifying and supporting an effective parenting plan and co-parenting skills.

Children

Where there are children involved.

You would like to know if the children are ok and if your separation has had any effect on them, (although you certainly don’t want to be made to feel any worse about that than you already do). You would like to have a constructive conversation about what you both might do in the future to ensure that the children will be ok and that they don’t suffer any undue circumstances.

You want to create a co-parenting relationship with your ex-partner that will stop the exhausting and debilitating conflict. One that will support your children emotionally and give them a sense that you, as their parents have regained your equilibrium, which will mean they, your children, can go back to the important developmental business of being kids.

You will get to a point where things that used to be really hard to sort out will become simpler and easier. Discussions about the children and the time you both spend with them will be characterized by a greater sense of goodwill and amicability.

We specialise in working with children and can help you focus on your children’s needs and find ways of jointly prioritising these at a time when your own needs can seem overwhelming. Developing a parental alliance between you as separated parents can enable you to help your children adapt to the many possible changes in their lives that they will need to confront - such as losing the family home, changing schools, dealing with the introduction of a new partner.

So that your children/child could one day say they appreciated how you well you both managed it.

So how does it work?

This work is for a limited term, supporting you before, during or after the divorce or separation process. It sits in the space between the professional advice of lawyers and the emotional and practical support of friends. It can help to put the right perspective on problems, improve self-esteem and crucially, aid you in the slow process of recovery once the legal side of things is over. After all, even the best of friends may find their patience wearing thin – or feel a conflict of loyalty.

If you think about coaching and how it works to help people facilitate change in their personal or professional lives, this will give you an idea of how family and divorce coach works. Family relationships change, they don’t break down – this process supports you through the changes, helping you to:

  • Identify and prioritise your concerns and work towards resolving them on both a practical and an emotional level.
  • Help you manage your emotions, worries and needs and find ways of coping with the impact of separation.
  • Minimise conflict, improve communication and reduce misunderstandings.
  • Help you to support your children.
  • Develop a workable parenting plan and enhance your ability to co-parent, now and in the future.
  • Adjust to the changes in key relationships and seek to look forward to the future.
  • Someone to talk things through with and help prepare for and be supported through the process .

So Contact Us and let us help you.

For Individuals

For Individuals

We know it may not feel like it at the moment, but this break-up is not the end of your happiness and you can move on to an even happier and better life. This journey is hard, no two ways about it, but it is also an opportunity to redesign your whole life - just the way you want it. The opportunities are there, you just possibly need some help to see them.

It would be nice ultimately to get to a place where you’re not constantly thinking about this, and you do recognise that the other parent being upset and angry with you isn’t making your life easy either– it would be good if all of that stopped. You would like some peace so that you can get on with your new life without having to worry about what’s going to happen next.

There is change and loss to many aspects of your life during this process; financial, your home, friends and family, your children. It takes time to adjust and get back on your feet. Emotionally it can feel overwhelming to cope with all the changes, particularly if they have been imposed rather than chosen by you. If you initiated the separation or divorce there may be feelings of guilt and difficulty in managing the emotions of your ex-partner, children and family. You need support in this difficult and painful time.

Decisions will need to be made about the immediate situation and plans for the years ahead, at a time when even the smallest decision feels impossible. The dawning reality of being a single person again can feel overwhelming: having to make decisions alone, the inevitable reorganisation of friendships and family with the losses that come as some ‘take sides’, finding a new social life and even the idea of dating again. You may need to reconsider work: maybe changing direction, further training or even going back to work after a long break raising your family.

Using a family coach can prove cost effective, as your lawyers can concentrate on the legal aspects of your case knowing that you are fully supported. You will be able to focus and work efficiently with your lawyer without emotional dynamics clouding your judgement. Anecdotal evidence suggests that having the assistance of a family consultant can cut down on the number of mediation sessions or collaborative meetings needed to reach an agreement.

We can help you by:

  • Identifying and prioritising your concerns
  • Providing emotional support as the you move through the loss, grief and anger of separation.
  • Identifying and offering assistance in containing strong emotions that might interfere with the resolution.
  • Helping with practical issues that may seem overwhelming right now – finding and buying a new house, managing day-to-day finances, paying bills, working out budgets.
  • Identifying and supporting an effective parenting plan and co-parenting skills.
Where there are children involved

Children

Where there are children involved.

You would like to know if the children are ok and if your separation has had any effect on them, (although you certainly don’t want to be made to feel any worse about that than you already do). You would like to have a constructive conversation about what you both might do in the future to ensure that the children will be ok and that they don’t suffer any undue circumstances.

You want to create a co-parenting relationship with your ex-partner that will stop the exhausting and debilitating conflict. One that will support your children emotionally and give them a sense that you, as their parents have regained your equilibrium, which will mean they, your children, can go back to the important developmental business of being kids.

You will get to a point where things that used to be really hard to sort out will become simpler and easier. Discussions about the children and the time you both spend with them will be characterized by a greater sense of goodwill and amicability.

We specialise in working with children and can help you focus on your children’s needs and find ways of jointly prioritising these at a time when your own needs can seem overwhelming. Developing a parental alliance between you as separated parents can enable you to help your children adapt to the many possible changes in their lives that they will need to confront - such as losing the family home, changing schools, dealing with the introduction of a new partner.

So that your children/child could one day say they appreciated how you well you both managed it.

So how does it work?

So how does it work?

This work is for a limited term, supporting you before, during or after the divorce or separation process. It sits in the space between the professional advice of lawyers and the emotional and practical support of friends. It can help to put the right perspective on problems, improve self-esteem and crucially, aid you in the slow process of recovery once the legal side of things is over. After all, even the best of friends may find their patience wearing thin – or feel a conflict of loyalty.

If you think about coaching and how it works to help people facilitate change in their personal or professional lives, this will give you an idea of how family and divorce coach works. Family relationships change, they don’t break down – this process supports you through the changes, helping you to:

  • Identify and prioritise your concerns and work towards resolving them on both a practical and an emotional level.
  • Help you manage your emotions, worries and needs and find ways of coping with the impact of separation.
  • Minimise conflict, improve communication and reduce misunderstandings.
  • Help you to support your children.
  • Develop a workable parenting plan and enhance your ability to co-parent, now and in the future.
  • Adjust to the changes in key relationships and seek to look forward to the future.
  • Someone to talk things through with and help prepare for and be supported through the process .

So Contact Us and let us help you.